Episode 6: Balancing Marriage, Parenting and Business Together
When Kathy first met a couple who worked together as co-principals at a school, she thought it sounded terrible and that she would never do it. Then she met Mike. Now, seven years into business and four years into marriage and parenthood, we're sharing a little behind the scenes of how we make it work.
In this episode, Kathy and Mike tell the story of how they met, how their business grew from small pop-up events into The Exhale Framework and the Nervous System Reset, and the weekly systems that keep a marriage, two small kids, older parents and a business running together. You'll also hear how to create a shared vision with someone in your own life.
How do you create a shared vision with your partner?
Mike's number one rule from producing is that without a shared vision, everything else crumbles. Kathy and Mike came to theirs through Marie Forleo's B-School, which pushed them to get clear on the life and business they actually wanted, including leaving New York City for the country. Their advice: let the dream be a dream first. As Kathy puts it, there's a time to work out the how and a time to leave out the how for now, especially when your partner is sharing something tender.
Can you really work with your spouse and still love it?
Kathy used to think working with a husband sounded terrible, and Mike would have said no too. They met in 2017 at a food event, and they kept coming back to each other through shared learning and breathwork. Today Mike is the only person Kathy wants to work with. They've moved from complete independence to a lot of interdependence, and they treat their relationship a bit like a business, with a shared purpose, shared values and honest communication.
How do you balance business, young kids and aging parents?
Right now Kathy and Mike work about 12 to 15 hours a week for themselves, so they can spend most of their time with their two small kids while the kids are little. They also live with Kathy's parents. It's a full season, and they remind each other that the days are long but the years are short. This isn't everyone's dream, but it's theirs, because they talked about it, got on the same page and created it on purpose.
What weekly systems help a couple run a family and a business together?
Kathy prints a weekly family schedule, and exercise is on it as a non-negotiable: kickboxing for her and jiu-jitsu for Mike, with the kids watching what a healthy morning looks like. On Sundays they plan meals and order groceries for pickup, which takes away the daily "what are we going to eat?" decision. And Kathy schedules her work in advance, because, as she says, her commitments are stronger than her moods.
How do you protect family time and sleep when life is this full?
Family dinners are a core memory they want their kids to have, so eating together at home is a value they plan around. Good sleep is part of it too: working with a sleep coach changed life with their kids, and they know how much sleep deprivation wears on a mood and a marriage. Looking ahead, as the kids head to school, they plan to carve out a regular date time just for the two of them.
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